simply homemaker

Can you see all your friends in 3 days? I am intentionally playing that game this weekend.

Being back in the state where everything started, while having a job that allows you to travel every weekend, presents its own challenge. I truly can’t be thankful enough for the chance to see, hug, and visit with all my friends in Fort Worth these past 3 weeks. With less than a month I’ve felt more connected and integrated back to Fort Worth than I ever expected, and it’s been so sweet.

This weekend, one of the babies I love turned one year old. So I decided to stay here in Fort Worth to celebrate the occasion and texted all my friends to see if they’d like to meet. Crazily enough all of them could! I even fit in a sleepover with my best friend last night, where we ate tacos and watched Pride and Prejudice. I also made a last-minute decision to purchase a Hamilton ticket at Bass Performance Hall on Sunday night, so I’m going tonight. With one of my closest friends as well. It’s like, the best Fort Worth weekend ever. (Honor mention of bringing my laptop everywhere and doing homework whenever I’m not with a friend. You know. We’re on the mission of keeping it real).

Thank you, Jesus.

This week, I began reading a new book on the topic of connection and realized that three years living and working in DC have taken a toll on my ability to sit still, connect with people, and love them where they are. DC has been ranked two years in a row the loneliest city in America, and I couldn’t agree more with the rankings. Everyone is in a rush, everyone has an end goal, and no one really stays for a long time, so why invest in relationships? If not for my church and my community, life would have been so harsh, transactional, and just… lifeless. I also would have been so tempted to find life in other things that offer vain and fleeting promises.

So, I decided to invest time and money into sitting down with all of my friends this weekend, talking, dining, and just being with each other. Also, I must say that this is way better than texting or seeing a post. It’s been over two weeks and I truly don’t even miss Instagram. It’s like, the biggest life hack ever.

I also got back to the habit of drinking matcha in place of coffee. I get excited about colorful dresses again (true sigh of relief. Thank the Lord for Texas. I’m done wearing black, white, and gray). I bought a new key chain that says: “God is within her. She will not fall.”

I wrote a whole series of moving to a new city, but this blog is really about moving back to a place where you have always been familiar with.

Investing in relationships has long-term effects. Picking your friends well has long-term effects. Inviting wise individuals into doing life with you has long-term effects.

I was sitting in church today and my old pastor preached on Psalm 39, where David lamented fully with God. While many of the psalms begin with lamentations and end with signs of hope, Psalm 39 ended with a cry.

And God allows that. In fact, He invites that.

I spent the first year moving away from Texas searching for ways to get back. I was so homesick it was not even funny. I was dying to get back.

Now that I’m sitting in Avoca Coffee, the local coffee shop I’m so familiar with in Fort Worth, Texas, it’s still surreal to me that I’m back here. But at the same time I have learned contentment in the ways I never would have if the Lord did not keep me in Virginia for the past 3 years.

Because I truly thought I’d never be able to move back, even for a short time, I never imagined myself back here. But if I did, I probably would have imagined myself in a very different position. Married, maybe children, transitioning out of the corporate world and ready to make home full time.

Yet this season looks so different to my expectations. I’m not married or pregnant, I don’t have a home of my own, I babysit people’s children and make temporary homes.

But I’ve also done really hard things. I traveled and still am traveling more than I EVER thought I would. I launched myself into ministry and serving where I was planted. I had opportunities to lean into God’s Word and experience His grace.

I made many, many sweet friends that I consider closer than family.

The end of my psalm might not be an actual echo of hope. It can just end right here, in the waiting, pushing through the season with faith that Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection is the sure assurance of whatever it is to come.

But the thing is, the book of Psalms has more than one psalm.

Every day we might get to live in a new psalm. Many psalms we relive over and over.

Jesus is not tired with me pushing through and holding to Him for strength.

He is not tired with me preaching to myself every single day that again, I must look to Him. That today might end with hope, but it can also just end with a cry looking for Him.

This is, actually, the life He asked me to live. A life that glorifies Him.

I pray this week that we step more fully into this life of faith, communion, and fellowship with the Lord. That we don’t shy away from Him. That we turn control over to God. That we build in rhythms of life that honors Him. That amidst hardship, confusion, waiting, and just the mundane, we look for the impossible. That we find beauty in the ashes.

“But now, Lord, what do I look for? My hope is in You.” Psalm 39:7

Next week, I’ll be back with an update on my trip to San Francisco. I truly can’t even wait for it. It’s potentially the most awaited trip of the entire year.

So, talk to you soon!

Love,

Tram