simply homemaker

What do you think about when you wake up?

I myself have tried to “solve” this question for many years. In the early hours of the morning, when reality started blending into the night, your thoughts are free to explore. There is no forced rhythm of the daily routines or in many cases, a discipline of thought even in one’s sleep. So we find ourselves dreaming and thinking of many different things we would not think about after we wake up.

And somehow, if I give a moment to consider these thoughts and ask the Lord to show me what to think, after I wake up, my thoughts are always much clearer. It is as if I have considered the options, and now my mind simply know which one is the good one to take. “This is the course, and this is simply the true thing,” my mind says.

This interesting phenomenon brought me one conclusion and a question. One, it’s important to go to sleep with good information rather than bad. So I have good raw information to begin with. Two, is this a way that God already interferes with my day to guide and show me even before my day has started?

Listening to God has become more and more of a discipline. As someone without patience as a natural virtue, it is hard. But yesterday in a prayer meeting at work, we discussed this passage which gave me more clarity: “Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.” (1 Corinthians 9:2)

Everyone pursues something. Everyone is in the race for something. But how do you know what is the thing to run after? It’s like running a race without knowing where the finish line is, or more importantly, the prize. It is like a bag of candy? Or is it a mansion on the hill? Is this eternal life with Jesus?

It is crucial for Christians to know what to run after. And that does not happen without giving space for listening to God.

This leads me to even a potential conclusion: Because I don’t really try to listen to God during the day, He is gracious enough to speak to me when I am asleep.

Even when my mind is boggling with plans, thoughts, and concerns that are not for His glory, He is always finding a way to speak with me. To steer me from self-glorification to having a right heart of worship.

So this morning, I woke up, and my mind went: “What do I want my life to look like when I wake up?”

It is rather a deep question, for I want so many things. But like many other times God has used this early hour to form my heart, a thought came to me: “I want to live a life solely dedicated to the Lord.” That is what I want my life to look like when I wake up.

For my thoughts to be consumed with Him. For my plans to be directed by Him. For my concerns to be for the things of God. That is what I want my life to look like.

Deep in my soul I know this is the narrow way of peace.

There is just one more week of the internship. This past week, I was able to put together some documents that captured my work over the summer, and I was happy to see the things I have learned. An intern group and I went to get dinner at a ramen place, I visited an external department, and most amazingly, I got invited to a prayer group at work, where I met 3 other believers and was deeply encouraged.

I also was able to finally go to Hawaii! It was such a miracle. The morning of the flight, I took a quick look and learned with dismay that the flight from Las Vegas to Honolulu has gotten full. For some reason, I felt like I should still go! So I drove to the airport, went through security, got on the flight to Las Vegas, and learned on the plane that 14 seats had opened up on the next flight! (long story of how that’s possible if you are really interested in aviation). 2 people bought the flights right away, so there were 12 seats left, and I was number 12 on the standby list.

So, here came HawaiI!

I was picked up from the airport by the Sluder’s family and we went explore the island a little before going to dinner! I then booked a circle tour of Oahu and enjoyed spending the day meeting people from Germany, Italy, Switzerland, and Iowa. Traveling and meeting new people are always fun.

However, I learned that even in this “paradise” of a place, many people are still broken. I met a divorced mom from California who was running away from her life, trying to seek peace with the sand and palm trees. I met a local Hawaiian who relies heavily on alcohol to self-regulate because his big dreams fell apart. It is certainly not how I imagined the people I would meet here, but these are real people who live in this place and that gave me much thought. The world simply does not suffice. Only in Jesus Christ can we find joy and peace.

Only when we live life as He has designed it can we find true freedom. (Check out “The Freedom of a Christian” by Tim Keller).

On another note. I am spending my last weekend of the internship going to New York! It is a fun jolly feeling to know I’m going to see my friends Julia and Kaiti tonight. Julia and I lived together the summer of COVID, and became close friends afterwards. Kaiti is Julia’s roommate and such a sweet girl.

I’m bringing my computer to New York with hope to get much writing done. That is the place where writers go, right?

Feeling so thankful for this past summer and this last trip. My class also wrapped up this week, so after the internship, I will have many days of reading, writing, and playing with Dunkin, Ken and Julie’s new kitten. No more driving an hour to work and waiting hours in front of the airport gates every week. It’s been an amazing season, but I’m glad it’s short-lived.

To everything, there is a season, isn’t it?

Love,

Tram