Oh, hello there, it’s still me, Tram.

If you have taken a look around, especially the homepage, you’d see that the blog has gone through a HUGE makeover.

We’ve also been “simplified” to Simply Homemaker, in the true spirit of the blog’s name. Shorter is better, isn’t it?

And, we have a new Instagram account now, at @simplyhomemaker!

I’m marking the end of this season with new beginnings 🙂

If you follow me on Instagram, I’ll be posting about my time home in Vietnam, embarking on a brand new adventure for 6 weeks before returning to Virginia for 5 months. I have not been so excited about going home for so long!

The Lord has used this season to teach me something I knew before but have forgotten for what felt like a very long time.

Coming to Him is not about asking for something but being with someone.

He already knows all I need.

A relationship with God is not about doing things but knowing things.

Knowing that I am the redeemed, the forgiven, the beloved, the called.

Yesterday, the Lord used a moment of sin and weakness to show me the depth of my own emptiness and pointed my gaze to the depth of His love and forgiveness.

In the moment I felt most ashamed of my human nature, the Lord led me to Psalm 107, where the ones whom He loves call on Him again and again, and in each place they call, He answers and delivers them from their trouble.

Leading up to this weekend, I prayed to put an area of my life in His hands, and prayed He would help me find peace and health. Yesterday was the day where this area of my life pretty much dropped to rock bottom, and I finally realized: it’s not in my control. I, in fact, cannot possibly control it. So, I did the thing I should have done right in the beginning: I surrendered it to God.

Today, by 2PM, He already got them all sorted out. As per usual.

Can someone else relate to this?

The past season was one where I felt like I was searching for things. Adventures. Friends. Experiences. Even stability and security. But why did I forget that He already knows all I need?

“Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.” Matthew 6:8

I feel silly, but truly, how did I forget this?

Here I am, at the end of my really long journey, and found exactly what I needed to find: Jesus, the Prince of Peace.

Did He let me be in lack of anything?

Food on my table? No.

Friends? No.

Love? No.

Community? No.

I’ve loved Matthew 6 for many reasons. First, my name means the Amazon Lilly in Vietnamese, so the passage about the lilies of the field has always felt like a love letter from the Lord.

Second, most of my life, I felt like I was lacking. That I would be left alone at any second. But here He is, promising me that He will not let me lack even just one thing and will never leave me alone. In fact, He has given me more than I could begin to count. He has provided constant love, protection, and guidance, exactly when I needed them.

This morning, I called my mother, who showed me the list of the places she wants to take us to and the food she wants to cook for us when we go home.

This was a different conversation to the one we had 3 weeks ago, when I told her I would like to dedicate my life work to the Lord, not to my own life, desires, and wants. There’s still a long way to go, but I’m glad to go home in a warm environment, and not in tension or conflict.

After I talked to my mom, my friends and I went to the St. Gallen Abbey to see the tree being dropped to the ground from a helicopter. It was truly a moment we’d never forget. I went with dear Veselina, who is truly the loveliest girl, and we sang Christmas music happily together.

After coming home from seeing the Christmas tree and putting groceries away, I had coffee and cheesecake with my two closest girlfriends here, Michaela and Savannah.

And now, I am tired but happy and grateful in my bed, writing the weekly blog.

My bags are almost fully packed. Gifts have been bought and tucked away in different corners of the suitcase. I have train tickets for my last trip to Lausanne for the stay at L’abri, and most of my school projects are due early next week. Less than a week from now, the program will be over. Today, Savannah asked if she could come to my graduation.

Last night, I had my last Bible Study in St. Gallen, by the fireplace, and it was a dear and special time with a full house. The Lord used Acts 24 to speak directly to my sin and condemn Satan’s influence in my life.

I have imagined myself at the end of the program many times. Yes, I’ve grown older, wiser, with more fun and life-changing experiences. That all happened. But what was so much better is finding the best version of myself. The version who loves Jesus and trusts Him no matter what happens.

That same person was the one who began this whole journey, who told everyone around her that the Lord wasn’t going to leave nor forsake her when she was laid off from her job.

That same person was the one who got baptized even without her family attending, because she knew she had been called to do it.

That same person took a leap of faith to sign up for seminary to take Greek and Bible classes to be a vessel for Christ.

And that same person signed up for a life-time membership in the kingdom of her King in the first place, knowing that she would face countless troubles and rejections from everyone she knew.

In each of these stories, I seemed to be the brave one. But now, looking back, it has never been about me.

When I was laid off from my job, it was Jesus who took care of my every single need, from moving to a new apartment in the fall, to finding a shelter for the summer, to getting enough scholarship to attend grad school. It was Him who gave me an incredible church family who opened their actual homes to me when I needed them and loved me as their own family. It was Him who gave me Christian community and friendships even through my university, which opened up my mind to the idea of ministry. I was not lacking even for a day. In the process, I was being redirected.

When I was baptized, it was Jesus who provided mama Julie and my friend Emily who flew and drove to Virginia to be with me and stand by me on this important day so I would not feel alone. It was Him who allowed me to be baptized by the youth pastor and his wife who have given me my first ministry and trusted me with so much.

When I applied for seminary, it was Jesus who prompted the desire 7 months prior, used my roommate to help me realize His calling, and gave me an opportunity to fly down to Texas for the weekend to attend a seminary preview day. It was He who ordained the amazing connections I have built through seminary and gave me men and women who pray for me, care about me, and continue to help make my seminary journey happen (I would have given up long ago if not for them).

Even when I finally accepted Jesus into my heart, it was Him reaching out to me first all along, through my friend Victoria inviting me home for Christmas, Emily Sherman who patiently waited for me to say yes to campus ministry, and the Lord Himself who placed mentors in my path who taught me the Word faithfully. It was Him who provided a house of worship, even to the ends of the earth.

“He turns a desert into pools of water, a parched land into springs of water.” Psalm 107:35

C. S. Lewis wrote one of my most favorite things I’ve ever heard anyone says, about what happens after we have walked through the valley of the shadow of death and looked back:

“And the Saved?”

“Ah, the Saved…what happens to them is best described as the opposite of a mirage. What seemed, when they entered it, to be the vale of misery, turns out, when they look back, to have been a well; and where present experience saw only salt deserts memory truthfully records that the pools were full of water.”

Doesn’t this make your eyes teary a little bit?

Can’t wait to write you next week, from L’abri, on the mountains of Lausanne, one last time, for a little while.

Love,
Tram