simply homemaker

Jim Elliot, one of the world’s greatest missionaries in my opinion and someone I deeply admire when learning about him through his wife and my favorite author, Elizabeth Elliot, said that coming home after college was one of the most spiritually transformative times of his life.

I feel this so deeply in my bones.

I came home with more expectations than I thought. I thought it would be the time where I would have non-stop spiritual conversations with my family like I did last time. I thought I would start this whole cooking series where I make at least a meal a day and get to film and post the whole process on Instagram and the blog. I thought I would be burning through spiritual books at this point.

None of that really happened.

Conversations with my family have been about my daily life for the past year and a half, making ends meet to live my grad school life to the fullest (hence signing up for Switzerland while I was technically broke). I quickly realized that my parents fully planned to make every meal extravagant, which means that they wanted to be fully in charge and the best thing I could do was offering to wash the dishes. Speaking and listening to Vietnamese all day long made me miss my childhood books, so I have been reading Vietnamese literature and found much joy and comfort in reading in my mother tongue.

In the past 7 and a half years, I have never had a break this long, and I never imagined what I would do for 6 weeks in Vietnam. And truth be told, I didn’t realize it would be so hard. The first and foremost reason is that I am a workaholic by nature. Coming home and living life with parents who are both retired drove me a nuts for the past two weeks: I wasn’t producing anything! Every day feels the same: wake up, get ready (really quickly), go somewhere for breakfast, sit at Starbucks until 12, go home, cook lunch, maybe nap for a bit, go for a walk, cook dinner, eat, wash dishes, read/watch shows, and go to bed.

Sounds like heaven? I was actually driving my own self crazy because I kept wanting to do something. What helpful books should I be reading? Should I start Duolingo again (I actually did, and it’s been fun!)? What home projects can I do?

Being in this space makes me deeply realize how fast and unforgiving my lifestyle has gotten and how dire I need a real break.

So here I am, telling you this is simply a season where I recoup and put away energy for the next one.

Being the workaholic that I am, I did sign up for a class that will last 3AM-6AM for 4 days after the new year (RIP), and already started home projects that involve getting my parents a dryer (I am SO excited about this, they need one so much in the winter because it is so humid here!). I think being 25 gives me the full permission to get extremely excited about dryers and dining tables and organizers that look pretty cute.

The second reason for why it’s been hard is because I am still a sinner, and sometimes, I fail at loving my parents well.

I found myself picking on them for habits they have developed while I’ve been gone, like how they have forgone taking care of some areas of our home, while I’ve developed a higher and higher “organization standard” the longer I’ve been away. This morning, I found myself diving into a cleaning frenzy out of frustration (also because my parents don’t want me to have to do anything when I’m home). The Lord knows I had to come to Him afterwards and ask Him for both wisdom and forgiveness.

Somewhere in my prayer time with Him, I heard Him say: “You don’t have to fix everything. Just love them.”

So here’s to my idealistic self wanting everything sparkly and perfectly right: just let it go 🙂

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On another note, the long break has allowed me to reconnect with some friends. The last time I saw most of these friends were before COVID, so this is huge! I saw a high-school friend last week, and we had such a great time getting coffee and pastries (you know I had to) and going to a little “book street” like we call it here (the street is literally made up of little bookstores). I also got to see my childhood best friends twice in two weeks, which is extremely rare for us. Sadly, the second time was because her grandmother passed away, but I was glad to be able to be there for her. So yes, I’ve seen some friends!

Being older makes me feel a lot more comfortable having fewer but closer friends than I did when I was younger. It’s been one of the beautiful things of the season – people you allow in your life becomes a blessing, not a curse.

I am still in the process of connecting with believers at home and finding a church home here. The church that I really enjoy going to is really far from my home, which makes it hard. I would appreciate prayers in this area!

I have eight more days before my brother comes home, and that is when all the festivities start! I’m trying to squeeze in seeing most of my friends, getting some more home projects done, and just spending more quality time with my parents and grandmother before things get busy with the holidays.

Weekly time with granny also has been the sweetest! Spending time with family has included a lot of “when are you getting married’s,” but I’m ok with being asked and having to tell them that I don’t really know.

In this season, this quote I first heard from Elizabeth Elliot’s Gateway to Joy Broadcast stays true and shining:

“To take up the cross for Christ is no great action done once and for all; it consists in the continual practice of small duties which are distasteful to us.” – John Henry Newman

I don’t love going to the coffee shop every single day, but I still go daily with my parents (early in the mornings!). I don’t love cleaning and am not even a good cleaner, but I’m learning to clean my parents’ house like it is my own. I’m learning to do small things continually and faithfully, without complaining or feeling sorry for myself.

I pray that God continues to help me.

Who can you faithfully serve this season? How do you bring more joy into your own life by sharing it with another person?

I can’t wait for us to find out together.

Love,

Tram