simply homemaker

Hello friends,

Does “next step” usually scare anybody?

Not me, usually— but this time around, with this new change, my head is spinning a little bit.

I feel like I’m given one more chance— three more years— to stay in the States. I feel like I have something to prove. Like this is the place, and that I’m staying put, and I’m never leaving. After all, the Lord didn’t make me leave this time. I’ve gotta prove it.

The thought of that is scary! Suddenly I feel an immense pressure to have an answer for the season before it even starts. Suddenly I feel myself hovering over this decision like a crow, wanting the season to be defined by my own desires.

But that’s never been the point.

I’m currently in my hotel room in Las Vegas, relaxing in bed and writing my blog after a long day going to the Grand Canyon with my family. The Grand Canyon, one of the world’s seven wonders, was stunning. My parents have officially been in the States for 10 days, and they have another 10 before we say goodbye for at least another 6 months. We did graduation, commencement, family lunch, a trip to the outlets, and multiple visits to H-Mart because we just had to. My brother also made his way down from Amherst, Massachusetts to join us, which was very sweet. I can’t believer it’s all over! The MBA!

Graduation was special. I am simply thankful to the Lord for carrying me from strength to strength in this journey. I am also very emotional and slightly confused about how I’m going to structure my life now that I’m not a student anymore, even though I really treated my school like a full-time job. It’s just now I’ll have weekends and evenings and no more scheduled breaks. And I will certainly miss those. But a girl can only get so many breaks. And this will allow me the chance to build tiny breaks into my day.

I have this thing I’m going to coin as my “First Thing First” item that I come up with in the morning everyday. When I wake up, I like to stay in bed for a bit, and when people just doze in and out of sleep, my brain starts spinning the wheels and sometimes I come out with the coolest ideas or suddenly have explanations for things that happen. I’ve learned to listen to my brain and my heart at the wee hours. Same thing happens in the shower — what are the wonders of having the space to think!

Even in my groggy brain stage these days (having your family around 24/7 for three weeks) I still come up with ideas every day of what I should be doing to prepare for my move and make it the smoothest experience possible. I think about the amazing church experience I want— small and tightly-knitted and family-oriented. I plan for the things I want to pack in my car. I start putting together an exercise plan that would save me money, aka walking 45 minutes to work everyday.

I’m moving to a new city! Can you believe? Not three months in Fort Worth and every weekend out of town. This is at least 48 months, with at least most of the weekends IN town. I get to put all the things I wrote into practice!

But this time around, besides the points I already made in the first two blogs, I also am doing some new things… and here they are.

1. Buying things used, and less of them

I pretty much furnished my first apartment post college with Facebook Marketplace. However, toward the end of my time there, I found myself wanting to replace vintage items with new items, which I know is natural. However, I forget that I can find those new items on Facebook too. And to be my own lawyer, I was expecting a lot of consistency and long-term use out of those items because I was planning to work for this company at least 5 years before getting laid off, which launched me into the past 2 adventurous years, hence this blog. But this experience has taught me that nothing is permanent. Also, frugality is a life skill. So we’re back on Facebook Marketplace hunting for used items! So far, I’ve found new bedding, towels, a rug, and looking into something new… a keyboard!

2. Reinvest in your hobbies

Words can’t describe how happy I am to be writing a pilates studio, and this time, a new friend who is giving piano lessons this summer! The MBA has been my hobby for the past two years, and alongside it, I only had margins left for my ministry and community. Life is full of ebbs and flows and I had to choose what was most important to me then. But now, with travels to the side and the MBA being in the past, I finally have margins again to make the ordinary day full of independent learning. I am continuing my old interest (pilates) but adding a new one (piano) to keep things interesting! Plus, I get to support a Christian business owner in doing so!

3. Being creative on how moving works

This move is the first time I’m moving “by myself.” The last time I moved, Brooke flew with me and the Hayes rented an U-Haul to move all my furniture into the apartment. This time, I’m loading all my essentials into my car and we are taking the Auto Train down to Orlando, while shipping the rest of the things like winter clothes and miscellaneous. However, I’m never unassisted 🙂 Auto Train is the Ruffin’s idea, and my parents are here to help with packing everything this week (hoping it won’t result in so many disagreements). Regardless, I’m grateful for some help, and this is an exciting experience for everyone since they didn’t get to be here the last time I had a major move. And thank the Lord, this next house comes furnished!

4. Simplifying

If there is one thing I’ve learned over the past year, it’s that constantly simplifying is an amazing way to go about life! While I’m waiting for the rest of my things to come back from storage to post it on Facebook to sell, I’m already writing down the things I’d actually need in Orlando, so that I don’t want to bring everything. My real dilemma these days: do I bring the sewing machine or not? Check out my next blog to figure out!

5. An unwavering faith

This is also the first move where I feel like I’m closing my eyes and following God where He leads, having pretty much no idea how it’s gonna look (or were all the previous moves pretty much like that?). But Orlando is so new and so humid and so different from Northern Virginia and even Texas. I don’t know how it’s going to be, truth be told. I’m also much more set in my own ways now. Part of me is terrified that this is the wrong decision, yet deep down I know, things were getting to a stop point here in Virginia and it would be stagnant if I didn’t move. And the root of this confidence is thankfully from a place of gratitude— I’m walking toward an amazing job with an amazing team at an amazing ministry, in a city where summer is year round and Disney World is located. Every single day leading up to this point, whenever I feel fear or doubt, I remind myself of the way He has brought me here and the way He has never once failed in guiding and providing for me. And that He has amazing plans for us if we decide to go with Him.

There’s a song by Ellie Holcomb called Canyon. Pretty much what she is saying is that the cracks in her broken soul will let the Lord in, like a river running through. And here I know again that His grace will be once more sufficient for me. And that if I submit my fears and doubts to Him, He will provide pools of water running through those gaps.

Visiting the canyons (on the bus to Antelope Canyon as I wrote these words) definitely helps.

What are the canyons of your life now? Is it a delayed promise? A loss? A painful experience? Let the Lord gently go through them with you like a river run through rocks, making them truly spectacular.

He’s the grand Creator, after all.

Love,

Tram

P/s: A picture of our family in the Grand Canyon! Because you guys are family, too.