simply homemaker

Wrote this in late January, but life was crazy and I never got to post — here you go, three months later!

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9 years ago, when I left home for university, I cried all the way from lining up for customs to sitting in front of the gate to sitting on the plane that was taking off.

Today, sitting in the same airport leaving my hometown, somehow things don’t seem less sad. It pains and troubles me to leave home, to leave my family and people I love.

The silver lining is this: the last 9 years have taught me that on the other side of the world is just where my second family lives: my church, my friends, my ministry, and things that I am now missing when I am away – like parks, my barre studio, and Chick-Fil-A.

I was only supposed to be in Vietnam for 3 weeks, which I thought was long enough. But God had other plans! I had to get a new passport to get my U.S. visa stamped, which lengthened my trip for another week, and then since the week after was going to be remote anyway, I chose to stay back for another week. So, 5 weeks in Vietnam – how crazily grateful I am!

In those 5 weeks, I got to attend 2 weddings, saw many friends, spent time with my family, and visited favorite spots in the city I grew up in.

Being with my family was my favorite part of being home.

I got to attend the wedding of one of my best friends in highschool.

During my first week, I attended church in Hanoi on Christmas Eve, and my mom came with me. On the weekend following Christmas, I met Cru staff in Hanoi, and that made the trip so special! My second and third week were really wrapped up in my “visa saga,” as I call it, and everything else seemed to be a blur. Fourth week was much more relaxing, as I got to go to a friend’s wedding and spend time with grandma. Fifth week was when I got to spend time just at home with my family, packing up my things and getting ready to leave.

And so, it’s hard to leave now, even if I can only describe my relationship with Vietnam as “complicated.” I rarely miss it when I’m gone, and most of the time, I feel like I don’t fit in well, but nothing is the same as speaking your mother tongue and living in the house you grew up in every day. Each time I go home, I am reminded of the humble beginnings that allowed me to chase my dreams, from my education to the amazing life I’ve built for myself here. People have sacrificed their dreams so I could have mine realized.

For the first 5 years of my twenties, it was all about “I.” This is my dream. This is what I want. So, I shall have it. 25 went by and suddenly it changed. “I” didn’t seem like such a big word anymore, as if suddenly a veil has been taken off and I can see things clearly now. I thought I needed to go and achieve my dreams. Now, I feel like a weaned child, waiting for the Lord to direct and guide.

In a true me fashion, my calendar for the first week back is almost completely full, and I’ve just begun color coding it. Interviews, writing time, therapy, workout classes. I am gentler with myself this year, but I would love to still make the best out of my time in Orlando, while being present so I don’t miss out on living life.

This year will be fun, too. All Creatures is coming back with two seasons, and so is Percy Jackson! I’ve been listening to the new Harry Potter audiobooks, and they have been a sweet addition to the day to day. I will continue working with a therapist, while writing for fun and for a seminary class. I don’t know how I’m going to do it all, but truthfully, I’ve never been sure! Sometimes, I think it’s a blessing I’m so busy when I’m not home. It keeps me not wallowing.

Like I said, the word I subsequently picked for 2025 was “gentle,
after picking “purpose.” It’s a work in progress, pursuing and realizing my purpose on this dear earth while being gentler with myself each day. Sometimes I don’t do a really good job, but I think I’m getting better. I want more moments of cozying up with a book under a blanket, of appreciating God’s creation and people, of laughing, of being with people who matter to me. In the midst of everything, it can be hard to remember that this is a goal I set out. But this post is a reminder to myself that wealth can be measured so differently than worldly standards if you understand what matters most.

Now… we’re on the plane 🙂 My flight is completely filled with people! What a sight to see – people are traveling more than ever after COVID, surely. Globalization makes experiencing the world so much more accessible now. However, as I think about the people in life whom I admire most, most of them are committed to their hometown and the people in it, and leaving town is only an exception when something important requires their attention. This year has taught me how living small allows you to live big in other ways.

I’m really hoping this flight will get me back to Orlando in time. The snow storm that is currently affecting 15 states in the U.S. surely does not help, but I’m counting on the Lord to get me back to Orlando on Sunday. Please, Lord!

I’m also hoping that my parents will be able to return to the States in May to attend my brother’s graduation ceremony, and that I will be able to come up to attend it!

I have a feeling that I will be home A LOT this spring – probably even more than how much I was home in the fall. Thankful for all the candles I saved up and the decorations here and there I added to the home to make it cozier. If you have any suggestions on how to best spend the night at home, please let me know!

And that’s it! My flight takes off in 20 minutes, so I’ll head over to the line now. I’m grateful for this short moment to give everyone with an update of my little life.

** Another update: The snowstorm was real! I was rerouted from NYC to Detroit, and made it home at midnight instead of 5PM. I’ve been home lots and lots, and my parents are coming in May! More to come.

Love,

Tram